Cyclic mood of life

What makes me feel better when I am having a depressing mood in my recent life?

I happened to realize the need of keeping a macro view over my entire life, there were times of happiness, times of gloomy, times of uncertain, times of serene, but they are just parts of my life cycle. If I can stop dwelling on the situation at one particular point of time, I can basically cope with any ups and downs in an easier way.

I recently is undergoing the darkest phase so far in my life, losing the one that I loved and at the same time, searching myself with every uncertainties. I wasn't able to get along with this phase at the beginning, and time has really been very hard for me, but after going through a month of time and numbers of readings and writings, I discovered and adopted a different perspective - the current situation doesn't mean forever, my feelings, stresses I have, attitude I am adopting and the people with particular feelings, are elements that making up this difficult situation which only appears at this point of time. Each of these elements are prone to change over time, and their changes are interactive, so if one element changes, it may, at a large extent, trigger others to change as well, so the effect and magnitude are so great that we cannot even predict how the situation would be altered. The whole process may only happen in a blink of time without obvious signal in advance.

What I'm trying to say is if I feel powerless in changing the situation and altering my own feelings as well as others', I should stop lingering at this point and kick-back a bit. When I know that this is not going to be forever, and this suffering phase would end sooner or later, I feel relieved.

This methodology applies to the relationship with someone. I feel like I am so indifferent with the one I loved now which really irritates me a lot lately...I hate this kind of zero interaction, I hate not knowing anything about him all in a sudden, I hate we both disappear from each other life after we shared our most intimate feelings with each other. However, what is going on at this precise moment of time is not necessarily be happening in  the rest of life, I'd rather interpret this period as a laid-back period in which we both have to chill out. If I try to zoom out from the situation now and have a general view on our relationship in the past few years, didn't we have gone through different phases with variation in intimacy over these years? What is happening now cannot be generalize to what is going to happen in the future, people change and situations will change.

On the other hand, I once was very frustrated about my failure in recovering from lovelorn. I was impatient to myself, I always had an immediate urge to have myself completely recovering from depression the next morning i wake up, but that's apparently impossible. Injuries need time to heal, so as psychological injuries. It's normal to keep observing the progress of recovery and thinking of thousand of ways to improve the situation from time to time, but when day after day, the feeling of pain remains and the first person comes up from my mind when I opened my eyes every morning is still him would make me think that I have no improvement at all, which is quite disappointing for a person who desperately wants to get out of this cycle. One way of cheering up myself in this 'static' situation is finding some change in my mood by comparing with the mood I had in Day 1 of recovery, like now, my heart would feel sour when thinking of the irrevocable relationship, but I won't cry anymore nor feel like being torn apart inside my heart, that is already a very encouraging improvement I have. By listing out all these minor differences, though there's only change in magnitude instead of jumping to 'zero' completely, at least there's no relapse, I should appreciate how much I've achieved so far. Taking these achievements into account, I can also predict that this curve would go in a one-way direction heading towards the goal, no matter how fast or how slow it will be in the later time, the day of complete recovery must be ahead of me for sure!

This is the perspective I discovered in this month of lovelorn, hope anyone out there who are suffering the same pain as mine can get some insight from my little personal theory. It's pointless to get over a person, because I believe no one I've ever loved is bad enough to deserve my alienation for life, it's about getting over a feeling/thought, to alter my feeling on a person is the core problem I have to face right now. Be the master of my emotions!